Oh, did I miss something? Yup, I did... the title means "My Travel Stories". Just in case you didn't know french. Just trying to show off my french skills. (psst... forgot french word for "stories", Google translator helped ;) ).
I have been traveling a lot between cities since second year of my graduation. My parents shifted to ahmedabad and I stayed back in baroda to complete my graduation. Its since then that I got wings on my feet and flew from one city to another. The "getting to know people and listening to their stories" bug got into me since those travels. Here are some stories and fun filled facts from some of my travels from Baroda to Ahmedabad and back. I take these as a first part of many more travel stories to come :) ....
The Prospective Bride
Initially I didn't know what to talk or even whether to talk to strangers sitting besides me in the bus, so I would simply keep to me. Generally ladies or girls traveling alone would come and sit over. On one of those journeys there was this one aunty who came and sat beside me. When she took seat, she gave me a strange smile. As if she was saying "arrey wah, kinni soni kudi hai!!" lol, obviously she wouldn't have thought with this punju accent it would have been in hard core gujju... Even before the driver could start the engine, the 40 something aunty started interviewing me. What age are you? What do you study? Who else is there at home? What caste are you... I was totally speechless, what sort of questionnaire is this! Then came the cloud clearance... dear, are your parents looking for a guy for you? I asked no aunty why? She replied, "beta, I really like you for my son!!" OMG!! arrey baap re! aa to jabri aunty che! Thank god, the journey from ahmedabad to baroda was only 2 hours then else I would have been kidnapped... Gosh, after this brief scary encounter I thought I will always ask first, aunty do you have a single son for whom you are looking for a bride. I will talk to you only if that's not the scenario...
The Gangster Story
This one is the most fantastic and longest one and since the good writer in me is sleeping, I will try hard not to make it boring. I was sitting with an uncle in the bus when someone patted on my shoulder. I looked back and it was again some 40+ aunty. The first thought that crossed my mind, "Oh God!! not again". She requested me to sit besides her and let the man in that place to take my seat. Courtesy sakes I said yes.
I was feeling miserable. Didn't want to undergo one more interview and didn't want to get into trouble. But as usual, the God of stories didn't want it to be a dull journey. So the aunty started talking... The good part this time was she was least interested in knowing who I was or what I did or go into my family tree. She was telling her story.
Here it is, translated into English. "I was very beautiful when I was young. (don't start laughing now, there are loads of other twist and turns coming up). I fell in love with a sindhi guy. My parents were against it but still I dated him. After some time I realized he was over possessive and that I was really hurting my parents so I left him and said yes to another guy, chosen by my parents. Before I could get married, my old lover came to my house with a gun and kidnapped me. (are you serious, do you think I am fool. what a story man!!) He forced me into marrying him. We have two children now. He shows me that gun even after so many years. He keeps a constant eye on me all the time. Doesn't allow me to go anywhere alone." I was curious, I asked how come you are alone? She pointed to another uncle sitting ahead of us saying, "that man is my distant relative and my husband has allowed me to travel alone as he is in the same bus".
She went on and on about her story. As many years have passed I have lost touch to the entire story. But trust me, at that age and with no love experience I was amazed with the fiction coming in from real life. Okay so now time for another one....
The Rich Wife Bitcher
After the gangster story happened, I rarely stayed awake during the travels. Preferred to go into deep sleep even before the bus driver started his engine. But sometimes you are lost in thought and forget whats cooking. A very sophisticated man took the seat besides me. As I was drowned in thoughts I completely forgot my schedule. So this guy started talking. Started with a Hi and all. I never gave out my real name to stranger guys in the bus. So he introduced himself as Mr. Zaveri from bombay. I said, Hi my name is Ami (I love this name). The first thing he said after then was, "wow, you are traveling alone. That requires guts". I laughed it out, the feminine sixth sense in me told that this guy was just being flirtatious. What do you study? I told him was doing my graduation in Physics. Another compliment popped in, "Oh that's great, girls doing Physics is unheard of" (Pata nahi kaunse jungle se aya tha) I thought now this is going to keep constant. I am going to get compliments in KGs. But thank god that ended when I inquired about him.
He said (I wasn't interested actually), I just got married a couple of months back. I thought aloud, how come you are not at home and if not why are you traveling alone. Hey wait, before you think that this thought was not necessary, let me remind you I was in graduation. Life's harsh truth were not much out yet for me. Okay back, he replied and I was shocked to hear that - "I don't like traveling with my wife, She is too dumb". My reaction got jammed totally!! Now started the process of wife bitching. She is not as smart as you. Does not know how to talk to people. Has very poor English. Cannot handle my business clients. Does not like to come to the pub with me... blah blah blah... All that I saw in TV serials was going on live out here.
He was sounding as if he is going home and going to give her a divorce. I felt sad for his wife. There was no one at that moment that could defend her or show her side of the coin. I told him a couple of times to stop and think before expressing but he didn't. I simply slept off, without worrying what he would think. When we reached ahmedabad, he gave me his card saying - Please come to my home in mumbai and teach my wife the smartness you have. I was so angry that I took the card and shred it to pieces (in my thoughts :D ) Didn't take the card, told him - I would not like to keep in touch with you. Thank you.
Rest of the stories are not actually stories they are more about strange personalities that I bumped into. Like there was this guy who was like, wow I like your personality... hahahahaha, why don't you come to our place. He gave me his business card as well as home address. :D
Then there was this family, who practically adopted me on the journey.
Whatever they were, it was great time traveling. And I thank god for all the good and if not good not bad travel companions. I wish my travels continue and so do the many stories that I could gather from my co-travelers. Finally, long time since I wrote a blog, so I guess it might have got boring and as usual at places the story continued in my mind then on paper...
Okay I cant end this without a quote :- "I travel not to go anywhere, but to go. I travel for travel's sake. The great affair is to move. "
Monday, October 5, 2009
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Love, not (yet) by chance!!
The topic on which I am going to write today is a bit of a sensitive issue currently in my life. Love!!
Well, as one of my friends mentioned, Marriage itself is a bit of a controversial term. His opinion was that it's just a license given by the society to a couple for staying together for the rest of their lives. Well, "Rest of their lives" is a passé now. I have seen as many divorcees in my friend circle as the number of weddings. Anyways to start with I don't agree that the term "marriage" is just a social term. It means a lot to any relationship. It signifies the highest level of commitment. In this materialistic world these too is a materialistic angle to relationship. Whether you like it or not, you do want it as a part of your life.
My problem is a bit on different level. It's like this way or that way, how do you find the right person and as I had mentioned in my yesterday's status message on gtalk - "…not to find the perfect person, but to find the person perfect for you".
I have tried my hands at both the ways - Let start with Love!! Sigh!! I have not been successful in this way. Not that I haven't had crushes. But nothing ever worked out. Strangely it was always one-sided. Crushes never converted to love coz all the time either I was running after the guy or the guy was running after me. I am simply amazed by my inability to do so especially when friends around you are constantly admiring you. There is not a single person, who hasn't told me this - "Hey gal, you are great! I am sure you'll get a great life partner". I smile and secretly hope that they are right!!
Well that's my story, but on a general perspective. I see more of love marriages in the present ERA rather than arranged. But strangely if you check out the media they are saying something else. According to some studies conducted recently people are going for arranged marriages now. Well, well!! I have not seen the fact behind such news/statistics. Okay, one question here! How do people fall in love? No idea how they do, but my guess… its pure chemical reaction. I call it "ghanti bajna". What say? ;)
Now let's see the other side of the coin and that's "Arranged". Hmm, now am an experienced player there too with no difference from the result of the earlier one. I have been unsuccessful here too, voila!! : . I have loads and loads of experience over here.
I have had an opportunity of meeting guys with different mindsets. Mostly have one thing on mind - sex. But yeah have met one guy who was all the time thinking and expressing too that how would our physical relations be. Whether our pasts will affect that…!! Huh!! Dumbo, that's all I can say! Here are some stories -
The business man - A couple of guys where making business strategies when we met. "Hmm, see Beena I have got this entrepreneur in me who wants to go into business soon. I might succeed or might fail but that time you will have to work as you would be the only person earning for a while"! That's a good business plan, get married to a working girl so that you can risk some time in business!!! Oh well, that didn't go well with me, not that I wouldn't be earning or not willing to support just that it cannot come as a pre-condition.
The indecisive man - The first statement I hear from him. "Beena, this is an arranged marriage scenario. I don't know why we are sitting alone. We should be with our families and let them decide whether we should get married or not. After all if we could decide for ourselves we could have gone for love marriage" Uff!! Ye banda to puri zindagi koi bhi decision lene se pehle bolega, "Let's ask everyone what should we do!! Pani pina chahiya ya Beer!!" Gosh!! As if that was not all, he gave me his business card at the end of the meeting saying. I am a very busy guy so wouldn't be able to call you. Call me if you want to talk!! :-O
The pseudo passionate - I gave this name to one of the guys who was passionate about something and suddenly that passion vanished when he started liking me! We talked for an hour, (ya that's big for the first time and that too with families sitting in the other room). 45 minutes of that I got a lecture on how passionate he was about his work. I thought wow that's a good guy even if he is a sissy but so what!! Some things can be ignored. Okay, one more big statement - "I don't believe in love in arranged marriage." I tried to convince him that without any kind of love or liking you would never say yes to a girl. Well, that went down the drain as he had counter and counter arguments. Okay, you win. (I never mentioned that I lost. I don't care what he thinks right now ;) ). I said NO for that guy as I thought our professions were two ends of a pole which never coincide. Now, here's where the "Pseudo" word comes into picture! He offered to leave his job and get a job wherever I am. :-O Passion kidhar gaya? If he can leave something that he has been passionate about all his life just in one meeting, there are chances he will leave me if he finds something else that fires his passion!!
The total hypocrite - "Beena, I don't like hurting people so I will never tell them anything that they would not like even if they are hurting me". How sweet!! Yeah yeah!! You'll always burn in your heart and kick the other guy's ass from behind!!
Well, those are some of the stories. Stories that highlight how difficult it is! People say you have to be practical. My friends who are married through this system constantly advice me on how you have to make compromises and say yes if the guy sounds/looks good, family is good, financial situation is good. Just go for it. I am sure many will defer with me on some of the scenarios mentioned above. But yeah, you have to be in someone's shoes to understand that. And that goes for me too. I am not against this system. Just that it isn't doing any wonders for me. It's like a goody good date arranged by your family. Where everyone is prim and proper and people talk only about good things that happened to them in life!!
I guess I sounded like I am against arranged and in for love. No re, for me it's not against anything. Life has surprises stored for you at every turn of the road. Just that now it's a long road and with lots of turns my cars petrol is running out. I am keeping my fingers crossed and hoping to find that special one. Love still hasn't happened to me by any chance!! Or as my friend says it…. Love is still to happen!! :D
Well, as one of my friends mentioned, Marriage itself is a bit of a controversial term. His opinion was that it's just a license given by the society to a couple for staying together for the rest of their lives. Well, "Rest of their lives" is a passé now. I have seen as many divorcees in my friend circle as the number of weddings. Anyways to start with I don't agree that the term "marriage" is just a social term. It means a lot to any relationship. It signifies the highest level of commitment. In this materialistic world these too is a materialistic angle to relationship. Whether you like it or not, you do want it as a part of your life.
My problem is a bit on different level. It's like this way or that way, how do you find the right person and as I had mentioned in my yesterday's status message on gtalk - "…not to find the perfect person, but to find the person perfect for you".
I have tried my hands at both the ways - Let start with Love!! Sigh!! I have not been successful in this way. Not that I haven't had crushes. But nothing ever worked out. Strangely it was always one-sided. Crushes never converted to love coz all the time either I was running after the guy or the guy was running after me. I am simply amazed by my inability to do so especially when friends around you are constantly admiring you. There is not a single person, who hasn't told me this - "Hey gal, you are great! I am sure you'll get a great life partner". I smile and secretly hope that they are right!!
Well that's my story, but on a general perspective. I see more of love marriages in the present ERA rather than arranged. But strangely if you check out the media they are saying something else. According to some studies conducted recently people are going for arranged marriages now. Well, well!! I have not seen the fact behind such news/statistics. Okay, one question here! How do people fall in love? No idea how they do, but my guess… its pure chemical reaction. I call it "ghanti bajna". What say? ;)
Now let's see the other side of the coin and that's "Arranged". Hmm, now am an experienced player there too with no difference from the result of the earlier one. I have been unsuccessful here too, voila!! : . I have loads and loads of experience over here.
I have had an opportunity of meeting guys with different mindsets. Mostly have one thing on mind - sex. But yeah have met one guy who was all the time thinking and expressing too that how would our physical relations be. Whether our pasts will affect that…!! Huh!! Dumbo, that's all I can say! Here are some stories -
The business man - A couple of guys where making business strategies when we met. "Hmm, see Beena I have got this entrepreneur in me who wants to go into business soon. I might succeed or might fail but that time you will have to work as you would be the only person earning for a while"! That's a good business plan, get married to a working girl so that you can risk some time in business!!! Oh well, that didn't go well with me, not that I wouldn't be earning or not willing to support just that it cannot come as a pre-condition.
The indecisive man - The first statement I hear from him. "Beena, this is an arranged marriage scenario. I don't know why we are sitting alone. We should be with our families and let them decide whether we should get married or not. After all if we could decide for ourselves we could have gone for love marriage" Uff!! Ye banda to puri zindagi koi bhi decision lene se pehle bolega, "Let's ask everyone what should we do!! Pani pina chahiya ya Beer!!" Gosh!! As if that was not all, he gave me his business card at the end of the meeting saying. I am a very busy guy so wouldn't be able to call you. Call me if you want to talk!! :-O
The pseudo passionate - I gave this name to one of the guys who was passionate about something and suddenly that passion vanished when he started liking me! We talked for an hour, (ya that's big for the first time and that too with families sitting in the other room). 45 minutes of that I got a lecture on how passionate he was about his work. I thought wow that's a good guy even if he is a sissy but so what!! Some things can be ignored. Okay, one more big statement - "I don't believe in love in arranged marriage." I tried to convince him that without any kind of love or liking you would never say yes to a girl. Well, that went down the drain as he had counter and counter arguments. Okay, you win. (I never mentioned that I lost. I don't care what he thinks right now ;) ). I said NO for that guy as I thought our professions were two ends of a pole which never coincide. Now, here's where the "Pseudo" word comes into picture! He offered to leave his job and get a job wherever I am. :-O Passion kidhar gaya? If he can leave something that he has been passionate about all his life just in one meeting, there are chances he will leave me if he finds something else that fires his passion!!
The total hypocrite - "Beena, I don't like hurting people so I will never tell them anything that they would not like even if they are hurting me". How sweet!! Yeah yeah!! You'll always burn in your heart and kick the other guy's ass from behind!!
Well, those are some of the stories. Stories that highlight how difficult it is! People say you have to be practical. My friends who are married through this system constantly advice me on how you have to make compromises and say yes if the guy sounds/looks good, family is good, financial situation is good. Just go for it. I am sure many will defer with me on some of the scenarios mentioned above. But yeah, you have to be in someone's shoes to understand that. And that goes for me too. I am not against this system. Just that it isn't doing any wonders for me. It's like a goody good date arranged by your family. Where everyone is prim and proper and people talk only about good things that happened to them in life!!
I guess I sounded like I am against arranged and in for love. No re, for me it's not against anything. Life has surprises stored for you at every turn of the road. Just that now it's a long road and with lots of turns my cars petrol is running out. I am keeping my fingers crossed and hoping to find that special one. Love still hasn't happened to me by any chance!! Or as my friend says it…. Love is still to happen!! :D
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